Patience is not a virtue. Tomorrow just needs to get here already.
Thank the Lord my dear sweet bro is going to drive me to the Capitol tomorrow. Hubs is riding with his dad in his dad's police car. I kind of got the "no girls allowed" vibe.. not that my FIL would ever say that, but I think he wants some father son time. I get it.
It is a 200 mile drive, so we are leaving at the crack of dawn and everything is set to go down at 10a.m. Again, SO freaking thankful my bro is going to be there with me and for me.. for us, really!
Today is hubs's birthday. The boys and I made his gluten free cake last night and as soon as he walked in, he took a huge slice and buried it in ice cream! I was so glad he was happy. Only bad part was that the boys were already asleep.
I'm getting ready to head to the baby doc. So glad there is no pants dropping today because I am seriously not in the mood with all the stress building for tomorrow. I know it's horrible for me and the baby to get all amped up, but that's just my way of coping.. er, not coping. Whateva.
It will be interesting to see what my blood pressure looks like?! Hoping it's in a safe range.
I should be able to hear the heartbeat on doppler today. Very cool. Wish hubs could be there, but he's working. I'll be by my lonesome at the visit... bummer.
Anywho, I haven't had much of an appetite today, think it's nerves for sure. Been making myself eat and hubs made me an amazing salad at lunch!
Now I'm trying to keep from going into an after lunch coma. Tired.. think the baby is super growing or something this week. I am wiped out.
Just needed to dump some thoughts for a minute. Catch you all tomorrow.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
One plus One - Need Good Thoughts Please
So, it's finally wrapping up. Hubs has to be at our state capitol on Tuesday (the day after his birthday) to find his final "punishment".
The licensing board is asking for a one year suspension followed by one year of probation on his license. Mind you, there is no criminal aspect to this.. it's only civil and related to his license.
But, that would mean not carrying the badge for an entire year.
I can't even bear the thought of it. It's devastating and it hurts so much.
His attorney is excellent and is actually very well connected (for lack of a better term) in our state, which will hopefully help. This has been so long and drawn out.. I just want to get it over with.
I told hubs that IF it results in an actual year long suspension, I will have to find a way of accepting it. I have already told myself it will be a way of him having more time with us and the new baby. I have told myself it will be the powers that be keeping him from harm if just for a while.
I am a wreck. Just trying to give it up and let it be. Whatever happens, happens. Right?
The licensing board is asking for a one year suspension followed by one year of probation on his license. Mind you, there is no criminal aspect to this.. it's only civil and related to his license.
But, that would mean not carrying the badge for an entire year.
I can't even bear the thought of it. It's devastating and it hurts so much.
His attorney is excellent and is actually very well connected (for lack of a better term) in our state, which will hopefully help. This has been so long and drawn out.. I just want to get it over with.
I told hubs that IF it results in an actual year long suspension, I will have to find a way of accepting it. I have already told myself it will be a way of him having more time with us and the new baby. I have told myself it will be the powers that be keeping him from harm if just for a while.
I am a wreck. Just trying to give it up and let it be. Whatever happens, happens. Right?
A Cop's Advice On Dealing With Cops from Huffington Post
The following is an article was produced by the Huffington Post on 11/15/2010. Neill Franklin, Executive Director, Law Enforcement Against Prohibition (LEAP), provided his "expertise" on how to deal with Police Officers. If you'd like to get your blood boiling, go ahead and keep reading.
"As a 33-year law enforcement veteran and former training commander with the Maryland State Police and Baltimore Police Department, I know how easy it is to intimidate citizens into answering incriminating questions or letting me search through their belongings. This reality might make things easier for police looking to make an easy arrest, but it doesn't always serve the interests of justice. That's why I believe all citizens should understand how to protect their constitutional rights and make smart decisions when dealing with officers of the law.
Unfortunately, this important information has remained largely unavailable to the public, despite growing concerns about police misconduct and the excesses of the war on drugs. For this reason, I agreed to serve as a technical consultant for the important new film, 10 Rules for Dealing with Police. The 40-minute docudrama aims to educate the public about basic legal and practical survival strategies for handling even the scariest police encounters. It was produced by the civil liberties group Flex Your Rights and is narrated by former federal judge and acclaimed Baltimore trial lawyer William "Billy" Murphy, Jr.
The opening scene portrays Darren, a young black man getting pulled over. He's driving home from college. This is the fifth time he's been pulled over in a year. Frustrated and scared, Darren immediately breaks Rule #1: Always Be Calm & Cool. Mouthing off to the officer, Darren aggressively exits the car and slams the door. The officer overreacts, dropping Darren with a taser shot to his chest.
Should the officer have tased Darren in that situation? Probably not. Would the officer likely be disciplined? No. But that's not the main point of 10 Rules. The point is that the choices you make during the course of such encounters have a massive impact on whether it ends with a simple warning, a tasing -- or worse. This is true even if you've done nothing illegal.
While being calm and cool is key to getting the best possible outcome, it's not enough to keep police from violating your constitutional rights. For example, when the officer commandingly asks Darren "You're not hiding any AK-47s in there? You don't mind if I take a look?", Darren gets tricked like most people do.
Intimidated and unaware of other options, he consents to the search. The officer carelessly dumps his bags, accidentally shattering Darren's laptop on the asphalt. In another "what if" scenario, the officer finds a small amount of marijuana hidden away. While someone else might have left it there, Darren winds up getting arrested.
What few people understand, but police know all too well, is that your constitutional rights only apply if you understand and assert them. Unless they have strong evidence (i.e. probable cause) police need your permission to search your belongings or enter your home. The instant you grant them permission to invade your privacy, many of your legal protections go out the window and you're left on the hook for anything illegal the police find, as well as any damage they cause in the process.
Of course, even if you know your basic rights, police officers are trained to shake your confidence. If you refuse a search, I might respond by threatening to call in a drug-sniffing dog and sternly reminding you that things will go much easier if you cooperate. Creating a sense of hopelessness for the suspect enables us to break down their defenses and gain compliance. In the film, we show several variations on these common threats, but the main lesson is that it doesn't matter what the officer says; you still have to remain calm and protect your rights.
In today's world of smart phone video, YouTube and Twitter, stories of police abuse travel fast, creating greater awareness of the problem of police misconduct. Unfortunately, this heightened awareness often serves to reinforce the notion that "cops can do whatever they want." It's true that much work remains to be done towards ensuring police accountability, but the very first step is to educate the public about basic constitutional rights.
Citizens who understand their rights are much less likely to experience negative outcomes, both on the street and in a court of law. Until each of us has the ability to protect our individual rights and recognize injustices against others, we're not likely to accomplish much in the realm of broader policy reform.
I hope 10 Rules for Dealing with Police will be embraced by parents, teachers, activists, and even police departments as we work towards reducing the tension that too often characterizes the relationship between cops and the communities they serve."
Of course the idiots unleashed their comments and started to really attack the Police - nothing uncommon after an article like this. What I enjoyed the most was one sole comment which happened to be posted by my brother. His comment was in response to a woman who said that the Police "pick on innocent people because they are too afraid to go after the gangbangers and violent criminals."
Here is what his response was:
"I am a police officer in one of the most violent cities in America. Stop on by and see how "docile" our "targets" are. And bring a fresh pair of undies. All you tinfoil hat-wearing paranoiacs will do well to remember that we're the ones who come running to help you when the shit hits the fan, and we're not out to pick on innocent civilians.We get paid shit, work lousy hours in lousy conditions, get shot, get hit by cars, harangued by people who are in trouble for their own stupid mistakes..... and then we get called "lazy" and "thugs" by a bunch of gutless know-nothings who spout bile from the comfort of their desk chairs.The day you run toward the gunshots or the fire or the blood instead of away from it, I'll be more than happy to hear your opinion about my job. "
"As a 33-year law enforcement veteran and former training commander with the Maryland State Police and Baltimore Police Department, I know how easy it is to intimidate citizens into answering incriminating questions or letting me search through their belongings. This reality might make things easier for police looking to make an easy arrest, but it doesn't always serve the interests of justice. That's why I believe all citizens should understand how to protect their constitutional rights and make smart decisions when dealing with officers of the law.
Unfortunately, this important information has remained largely unavailable to the public, despite growing concerns about police misconduct and the excesses of the war on drugs. For this reason, I agreed to serve as a technical consultant for the important new film, 10 Rules for Dealing with Police. The 40-minute docudrama aims to educate the public about basic legal and practical survival strategies for handling even the scariest police encounters. It was produced by the civil liberties group Flex Your Rights and is narrated by former federal judge and acclaimed Baltimore trial lawyer William "Billy" Murphy, Jr.
The opening scene portrays Darren, a young black man getting pulled over. He's driving home from college. This is the fifth time he's been pulled over in a year. Frustrated and scared, Darren immediately breaks Rule #1: Always Be Calm & Cool. Mouthing off to the officer, Darren aggressively exits the car and slams the door. The officer overreacts, dropping Darren with a taser shot to his chest.
Should the officer have tased Darren in that situation? Probably not. Would the officer likely be disciplined? No. But that's not the main point of 10 Rules. The point is that the choices you make during the course of such encounters have a massive impact on whether it ends with a simple warning, a tasing -- or worse. This is true even if you've done nothing illegal.
While being calm and cool is key to getting the best possible outcome, it's not enough to keep police from violating your constitutional rights. For example, when the officer commandingly asks Darren "You're not hiding any AK-47s in there? You don't mind if I take a look?", Darren gets tricked like most people do.
Intimidated and unaware of other options, he consents to the search. The officer carelessly dumps his bags, accidentally shattering Darren's laptop on the asphalt. In another "what if" scenario, the officer finds a small amount of marijuana hidden away. While someone else might have left it there, Darren winds up getting arrested.
What few people understand, but police know all too well, is that your constitutional rights only apply if you understand and assert them. Unless they have strong evidence (i.e. probable cause) police need your permission to search your belongings or enter your home. The instant you grant them permission to invade your privacy, many of your legal protections go out the window and you're left on the hook for anything illegal the police find, as well as any damage they cause in the process.
Of course, even if you know your basic rights, police officers are trained to shake your confidence. If you refuse a search, I might respond by threatening to call in a drug-sniffing dog and sternly reminding you that things will go much easier if you cooperate. Creating a sense of hopelessness for the suspect enables us to break down their defenses and gain compliance. In the film, we show several variations on these common threats, but the main lesson is that it doesn't matter what the officer says; you still have to remain calm and protect your rights.
In today's world of smart phone video, YouTube and Twitter, stories of police abuse travel fast, creating greater awareness of the problem of police misconduct. Unfortunately, this heightened awareness often serves to reinforce the notion that "cops can do whatever they want." It's true that much work remains to be done towards ensuring police accountability, but the very first step is to educate the public about basic constitutional rights.
Citizens who understand their rights are much less likely to experience negative outcomes, both on the street and in a court of law. Until each of us has the ability to protect our individual rights and recognize injustices against others, we're not likely to accomplish much in the realm of broader policy reform.
I hope 10 Rules for Dealing with Police will be embraced by parents, teachers, activists, and even police departments as we work towards reducing the tension that too often characterizes the relationship between cops and the communities they serve."
Of course the idiots unleashed their comments and started to really attack the Police - nothing uncommon after an article like this. What I enjoyed the most was one sole comment which happened to be posted by my brother. His comment was in response to a woman who said that the Police "pick on innocent people because they are too afraid to go after the gangbangers and violent criminals."
Here is what his response was:
"I am a police officer in one of the most violent cities in America. Stop on by and see how "docile" our "targets" are. And bring a fresh pair of undies. All you tinfoil hat-wearing paranoiacs will do well to remember that we're the ones who come running to help you when the shit hits the fan, and we're not out to pick on innocent civilians.We get paid shit, work lousy hours in lousy conditions, get shot, get hit by cars, harangued by people who are in trouble for their own stupid mistakes..... and then we get called "lazy" and "thugs" by a bunch of gutless know-nothings who spout bile from the comfort of their desk chairs.The day you run toward the gunshots or the fire or the blood instead of away from it, I'll be more than happy to hear your opinion about my job. "
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
From The Mouths Of Babes
Tonight in the mall, my little one decided to be a royal p.i.a. It was the mall, which I rarely even venture into, so I totally got it.
On our way back to the car, we had to cut through one last store to get out of the building. Mr. Pants stopped at the sight of a remote control car he really wanted.
This is what I heard come out of his mouth:
"Mommy, I love you. I'm your best friend...... And I'm not an asshole either."
The entire store erupted in hysterical laughter. Shocked, I counted to five in my head and calmly said, "That's not very nice. Who said that to you? Did Jackson say that to you?" (he's the bad kid at school)
Mr. Pants' reply?: "No Mommy, YOU did."
How on earth was I supposed to even follow that up???
I just gently took his hand and headed for the door. I called Daddy on the way home and he could not stop laughing. It lightened his mood after working 6 in a row of 12s.
Never a dull moment.
On our way back to the car, we had to cut through one last store to get out of the building. Mr. Pants stopped at the sight of a remote control car he really wanted.
This is what I heard come out of his mouth:
"Mommy, I love you. I'm your best friend...... And I'm not an asshole either."
The entire store erupted in hysterical laughter. Shocked, I counted to five in my head and calmly said, "That's not very nice. Who said that to you? Did Jackson say that to you?" (he's the bad kid at school)
Mr. Pants' reply?: "No Mommy, YOU did."
How on earth was I supposed to even follow that up???
I just gently took his hand and headed for the door. I called Daddy on the way home and he could not stop laughing. It lightened his mood after working 6 in a row of 12s.
Never a dull moment.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Mildly Irritated
I really hate feeling like I have to qualify things I say. I didn't use to do such a thing, but in today's world.. I kind of feel like I must. So- this is merely a vent post, not intended to offend any one sole person or group of people in any way, shape or form. Now then....
I went out to dinner with my much younger sister last night. Her and her girlfriend. Who I am not a big fan of. My sister is in her very early twenties and currently attends one of the most liberal universities in the nation. Ok fine. I'm not a stuffed shirt conservative or anything, but I'm not the most liberal being either.
My sister and I have the same mother but different fathers. I am ten years her senior. I used to wipe both her butt and her nose (though not at the same time). She is one of those, what do you call it?... "KIDults" or in a more politically correct fashion, "Emerging Adult". You know, the ones that think they know all about everything because they've passed high school and are now in college? The ones who think because they manage to split rent with three other girls they are grown up, despite the fact that mom and dad still pay for the car, the car insurance, the cell phone and the health insurance? Oh, and the TUITION?
I love my sister, I love her dearly in fact. But I'm saddened. I don't see or hear much from her anymore because she is busy being a self-absorbed twenty-something know-it-all. That's not a crime by any means. We've all been there. The selfish part of me misses her though.
When she was in high school, she was the all-American kind of girl that just made people want to puke. Straight A student with a 4.0, Captain of the cheerleaders, funny, outgoing and unlike many high schoolers: driven. She received acceptance letters from schools like Purdue, Bellarmine, Murray State and NYU. She chose none of them. Ok fine. She ended up at a private university 8 miles from home.
And then she decided to come out as a lesbian. Totally love and support her and I really knew since she was about 12 that the day would come. Reassured her that I love her and accept her and that nothing about being a lesbian would make me love her any less.
That was a bunch of years ago and to be honest, I'm starting to realize maybe that statement is untrue. I mean, I LOVE her, but we've just totally lost that special bond we used to have.
Here is what I mean. The girl has completely enveloped herself in all things gay. What do I mean? I mean that every single thing she does from sun up to sun down involves forming some committee or marching and protesting about all the atrocities that gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered folks face.
It's like she doesn't want to be "labeled", yet she makes every single aspect of her entire life so much about gay everything that a straight person can't even hold a conversation with her anymore. She thinks all the struggles in life revolve around why women can't pee standing up and how the biggest crisis on earth is not having enough transgendered restrooms in America.
Yes, there are very real, very sad and very wrong challenges that gay folks are faced with every day. My post is NOT intended to downplay their struggles or the importance of finding some resolve.
MY struggle is with a beloved sister who has become someone I no longer know. Someone I don't feel comfortable around because she overanalyzes every single freaking word I say as being "unsupportive" or "not convincing enough" about my acceptance of her and her chosen lifestyle.
The other thing which seriously, honestly and without lying disturbs me is the fact that she chopped off all of her waist length gorgeous naturally curly hair and now looks like a guy. I think that is a perfectly normal peeve for someone who loves someone else. Her changing her appearance was more of a shock to me than changing her actual lifestyle.
Now she spends her life earning money by dressing up as a guy doing drag shows. Yeah, the kind with stuffed pants and facial hair drawn on with eyeliner and taped boobs.
I struggle with the fact that SHE took it upon herself without even consulting me to explain to my 10 year old what being gay is and that being gay is great, etc., etc. Now, while I have ZERO issue with the concept of acceptance, I DO have an issue with someone who isn't even a parent, stepping over the line with MY child who isn't even mature enough to understand romantic relationships yet being told about subject matter beyond his comprehension.
I felt like she ambushed him and that she went behind my back. She gave me no voice in the preparation, presentation or after-effects of her "chat".
We sat at the table last night in the middle of the restaurant while her girlfriend tongue-kissed her in front of my 10 and 4 year olds with no tact or respect. Public affection is one thing, but R-rated make-out sessions really shouldn't happen in front of young kids regardless of orientation.
Of course I said nothing because I am so afraid that any objection or challenge to ANYTHING she says or does will cause ME to be shunned, I just let it go.
I think it's time to just bow out for a while. I can't handle it.
Thanks to those who read this without thinking I am a horrible person. Just venting my personal frustration.
I went out to dinner with my much younger sister last night. Her and her girlfriend. Who I am not a big fan of. My sister is in her very early twenties and currently attends one of the most liberal universities in the nation. Ok fine. I'm not a stuffed shirt conservative or anything, but I'm not the most liberal being either.
My sister and I have the same mother but different fathers. I am ten years her senior. I used to wipe both her butt and her nose (though not at the same time). She is one of those, what do you call it?... "KIDults" or in a more politically correct fashion, "Emerging Adult". You know, the ones that think they know all about everything because they've passed high school and are now in college? The ones who think because they manage to split rent with three other girls they are grown up, despite the fact that mom and dad still pay for the car, the car insurance, the cell phone and the health insurance? Oh, and the TUITION?
I love my sister, I love her dearly in fact. But I'm saddened. I don't see or hear much from her anymore because she is busy being a self-absorbed twenty-something know-it-all. That's not a crime by any means. We've all been there. The selfish part of me misses her though.
When she was in high school, she was the all-American kind of girl that just made people want to puke. Straight A student with a 4.0, Captain of the cheerleaders, funny, outgoing and unlike many high schoolers: driven. She received acceptance letters from schools like Purdue, Bellarmine, Murray State and NYU. She chose none of them. Ok fine. She ended up at a private university 8 miles from home.
And then she decided to come out as a lesbian. Totally love and support her and I really knew since she was about 12 that the day would come. Reassured her that I love her and accept her and that nothing about being a lesbian would make me love her any less.
That was a bunch of years ago and to be honest, I'm starting to realize maybe that statement is untrue. I mean, I LOVE her, but we've just totally lost that special bond we used to have.
Here is what I mean. The girl has completely enveloped herself in all things gay. What do I mean? I mean that every single thing she does from sun up to sun down involves forming some committee or marching and protesting about all the atrocities that gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered folks face.
It's like she doesn't want to be "labeled", yet she makes every single aspect of her entire life so much about gay everything that a straight person can't even hold a conversation with her anymore. She thinks all the struggles in life revolve around why women can't pee standing up and how the biggest crisis on earth is not having enough transgendered restrooms in America.
Yes, there are very real, very sad and very wrong challenges that gay folks are faced with every day. My post is NOT intended to downplay their struggles or the importance of finding some resolve.
MY struggle is with a beloved sister who has become someone I no longer know. Someone I don't feel comfortable around because she overanalyzes every single freaking word I say as being "unsupportive" or "not convincing enough" about my acceptance of her and her chosen lifestyle.
The other thing which seriously, honestly and without lying disturbs me is the fact that she chopped off all of her waist length gorgeous naturally curly hair and now looks like a guy. I think that is a perfectly normal peeve for someone who loves someone else. Her changing her appearance was more of a shock to me than changing her actual lifestyle.
Now she spends her life earning money by dressing up as a guy doing drag shows. Yeah, the kind with stuffed pants and facial hair drawn on with eyeliner and taped boobs.
I struggle with the fact that SHE took it upon herself without even consulting me to explain to my 10 year old what being gay is and that being gay is great, etc., etc. Now, while I have ZERO issue with the concept of acceptance, I DO have an issue with someone who isn't even a parent, stepping over the line with MY child who isn't even mature enough to understand romantic relationships yet being told about subject matter beyond his comprehension.
I felt like she ambushed him and that she went behind my back. She gave me no voice in the preparation, presentation or after-effects of her "chat".
We sat at the table last night in the middle of the restaurant while her girlfriend tongue-kissed her in front of my 10 and 4 year olds with no tact or respect. Public affection is one thing, but R-rated make-out sessions really shouldn't happen in front of young kids regardless of orientation.
Of course I said nothing because I am so afraid that any objection or challenge to ANYTHING she says or does will cause ME to be shunned, I just let it go.
I think it's time to just bow out for a while. I can't handle it.
Thanks to those who read this without thinking I am a horrible person. Just venting my personal frustration.
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