Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Nasty Tales

So the hubs has been doing some work helping out in the jail at his department. The last few days that he's done this, he drives straight home and calls me sounding all violated or something.

Now, I couldn't figure out why when I get home from work all of the sudden he has started putting his unis into plastic bags, IN THE HAMPER?? I mean, seriously, I'm lucky if they make it within ten feet of the hamper-on the floor-most days. Hm.

So, I asked him what the deal is and this is what he told me:

"Yesterday while I was doing some paperwork, this chic who is no short timer decided that she wanted a shower. Well, they only get a shower every three days. So you know what she did? She pooped in her pants, and wallowed around in it, hoping she'd get a shower. The Sgt. in the jail walked over, handed her a towel and said, 'It ain't Thursday yet'. Just witnessing that made me feel completely disgusting. Just knowing I breathed the same stale air as the woman who did such a thing makes me feel gross."

"Today, a lady who has been in for several days got bonded out. The Sgt. asked me to grab her clothes so she could change out of her jumpsuit and go home.. or wherever she's going to go. So I put on rubber gloves THANK GOD because when I reached into the bag and pulled out her clothing, it was completely covered in menstrual blood.... from three days ago."

It didn't really make him feel better when I reminded him these are the same disgusting people he frisks, cuffs and hauls around in a patrol car every day in his personal space. Man, it makes me shudder!!

My poor Sweetie. YUCK. I'm sorry he has to go through being around such disgusting people, but boy I'm really glad his clothes are bagged and in the laundry hamper!! It's like magic. :)


  1. Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
    I have more appreciation for my hubby now. Mine does not tell me about all the grossies he has to touch or smell, etc. But once in awhile he does share and like your hubby it's NASTY!!! Mine has talked to me about the smell of a dead body, blood, dirty drunk people and homeless people, and of course the smell of the inside of a car after someones blown their brains out. UGG! I can hardly stomach the smell when I have to clean up a little pile of our dogs puke :)

  2. I KNOW!! Ha ha. Is it not totally disgusting?! My hubs cannot eat peaches of any kind because he said "leave peaches outside in 90 degree weather for three days.. that's what a dead guy smells like". And I also just realized recently why he gets so incredibly angry when flies land on his food. He said to me, "Just imagine for one second that this fly just finished eating a dead guy's eyeball". God love our men.

  3. ughhh,gross!now I know why I could NEVER do their job!!

  4. Totally reminds me of the time my husband came home from a 4-midnight shift, wearily said "don't touch the gloves on the table" before collapsing into bed, and failed to explain the reason WHY I shouldn't touch them. Until the following day. Thankfully we didn't have a kid then who might touch them accidentally.

    Also reminds me of when non-LEO people joke about the d*mn bedroom use of the job-issue handcuffs. Seriously...after hearing all the stories of the people who wear those things...never. Ever. EVER.