Run For It

I'm having one of those days where I could just chuck my phone out the window and make a run for the border.  I am so crabby and pissed off today it isn't anywhere close to funny.

Yes, it's another day in blissdom.  Today marks the start of 12 hour dayshifts for a month.  That's one good thing, I suppose, in a whole mess of b.s.

I'm having issues.  Major issues today, and really the past couple of days.

We are supposed to be going out of state for a big music deal for the kids in a few weeks.  We go every year.  I started reminding hubs about it months ago so he could put in for the time off (it's only one weekend).  Back at the beginning of the year he told me he put in for it in writing, but with the switch to the new systems and the 12 hour shifts, they also had to put in for it electronically.  -Um, so?

Now that the date is quickly approaching, he keeps telling me he isn't sure if he is going to get the time off or not because he hasn't heard back from his Sgt.  Now, I know I am probably being a major bitch.  I do that very well, sometimes.  BUT- what I'm really miffed about is the fact that he is so ho-hum about it... like he doesn't give a sh*t. 

Something deeeeep down is really bothering me about it.  Like he'd rather have that whole weekend to himself while I travel out of town with three small children and manage all of them during one of the biggest music events in the country.  And then... it all just honestly brings me back to days of yore.  You know, the ones when he was cheating on me?  Yeah. 

Even though that was a loooong time ago, and even though things have been better than good between us for many years now, I cannot help but get angry and insecure when he acts like this.  Or maybe I should say, when something like this pops up.

What set me off was the tone in his voice on the phone today when I asked him if he had checked with the Sgt.  In what sounded like a total bullsh*t answer, he told me the Sgt. is in court the rest of the afternoon.  To boot, he just acted irritated at the very idea of having to go with me/us out of town.  He made it a big deal that he had 8 car break-ins a couple of hours ago (which I am sure is a pain in the butt), but that doesn't give him the right to talk like an ass to me.

It probably isn't helping that I am sick as hell with what feels like pneumonia, the baby won't stop crying today and I've got kids that require me to be in two different places at the same time this evening.. and we will get home just in time for hubs to miss ALL of the responsibility.

Yes, I am feeling angry and frustrated... resentful, pissed off, etc.  If I didn't blog about it, I think I'd end up going into hiding or something. 

Gotta go pick up the baby again.