And so it begins... how quickly a month of days flew by. Midnight month is upon us, with tonight being night number 1. I dread this day. We took a nice little vacation over the weekend just to enjoy being a family for three days before the hubs headed to work tonight. It was great being together.
I have tried very hard this past month to put measures in place which will hopefully help me get and/or keep myself together THIS month while I go it alone. I have had serious issues keeping my sh*t together. I thought back on things and realized it mostly started to unravel when Quinn was born in May.
I used to be one of those weirdo women who had everything perfectly mapped out, with planners, schedules, highlighted calendars, tabbed binders with more information than anyone would ever need to retain.. and a steel trap memory to go with all of that. I could tell you what you said during lunch last Tuesday, as well as what you were wearing and what you ate.
I know that is quite overboard, and nobody needs that amount of organization or memory, but- it is very missed now that it is gone. I have found myself struggling to get through ordinary every day stuff without forgetting, overlooking or getting completely distracted. My stress level skyrockets when I get interrupted, which is ALL THE TIME now that I have three boys pulling me three different directions!
We have moved into a house with tons more space, which means I was able to stake an office area for myself. This is helping tremendously as well.
As for managing the house, I have pulled myself together and gotten much more organized as far as getting things where they need to be. I have all of my dorky binders with color-coding and special pocket dividers put back together and organized. I have my meals planned out for the month and most already prepared and frozen, ready to throw in the oven or the crockpot.
It feels soo much better living like this. The challenge will be sticking with it and not getting distracted or interrupted and letting it fall apart again!!
I think the pressure to perform (as lame as that sounds) is definitely a stress factor for me. I would find all this guilt in not doing enough every day. If I made dinner, I'd feel guilty for not paying enough attention to the kids. If I caught up the laundry, I felt like it took too much time away from other things I could've been doing. I would drive myself insane thinking this way. Then the worst part is, I'd wait until all the kids were in bed and THEN try to do EVERYTHING. I'd be awake until 3am, baby would be up at 6, The Dude would be up at 7 and hubs would be home at 7:30... then Mr. Pants would be up and ready for breakfast. I was a zombie and am still catching up on sleep from this madness.
I am trying not to tackle too much each day, just setting the expectation that I can get through two or three things. Hoping this helps overall, but especially during midnights this month. At least the days are getting longer and the sun is shining more. Can't complain about that.
As for my friends, my best friend is coming in from across the state on the 24th! Her hubs is a K9 officer and will be riding with hubs on their first night here. This should be interesting :). I have her visit to look forward to and prepare for these next few weeks!
We WILL survive the 7-7!!!
Hope y'all are hanging in.