Monday, July 4, 2011

In A Nutshell

It's been a long six weeks. Yep, six weeks already. Quinn is doing awesome, almost sleeping through the night (hoping I didn't just jinx as I type this with very tired eyes). He is getting so big already.. 10 pounds!

The Dude and Mr. Pants have taken to him very well. They love helping with holding the baby and bringing me diapers. The only thing I'm trying to work on is keeping them entertained while juggling the household duties as well as take care of a newborn.

In other news, on June 2nd, my step-dad was hospiced. We'd known for about 18 months he was considered terminal, but he worked every day until May 25th. Then he became weak and took a very sudden nose dive. That was right around the time we were told his chemo stopped working. Hospice came in and took great care of putting up with us and keeping us all sane. He succumbed on June 22 with all of us by his side. He was 56 years old.

It was really hard to watch the dying process again. I went through it with my dad when I was a teenager and then again last year with my brother in law. It sucks. It really sucks. It sucks that you know what is coming, you see all the indications, and there is nothing you can do. What's worse is that you aren't supposed to do anything. We all have an instinct to rescue when someone is hurting, but in all three cases I was expected to stand back and let it happen. There is an overwhelming sense of guilt and agony that comes with that.

But it's what he wanted. To be freed from the pain of prostate and bone cancer. And I've never known anyone to go out exactly how they wanted in a cancer situation, but he DID. He was at home, no hospitals and surrounded by family.

I'm glad he got to meet Quinn and that we all got to hang out with him his final few weeks before he got really bad.

Since then, hubs is back on midnites, the idiot neighbors are still popping off fireworks and the big boys are not asleep yet. It's been a long day and a long bunch of weeks. Just thought I'd drop a line. Take care.

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