Wednesday, January 20, 2010

About Me - by request

Here's a snapshot of me. It's 2010. I'm somewhere in my thirties. This is totally random. Don't look for it to make sense.

I don't know how to decorate

I don't know a thousand ways to reuse an empty milk jug but I can say that I am both thrifty and frugal.

I read self help books but usually find I already do all the things in them.. perhaps it's my way of justifying my actions?

I'm the kind of friend who doesn't call or write often, but would help you hide the body.

Some people think I'm antisocial. I'm not antisocial. I love people. I just don't like a$!%holes.

I'm really bad at math. Like, really bad. But I can balance a checkbook like nobody's business. Yeah.. I don't get it either.

People are always harping on me about not taking enough pictures of our family. In the words of David Lynch, "I like to remember things how I remember them. Not how a picture tells me to remember them." Besides, the way I see it, I only show photos to people I know. And if I know you, you don't really need a photo of me, right? Maybe my semi-Amish upbringing with no photos of people is still engrained in me.

I have no credit cards or auto loans.

In my thirty something years on earth, I have been diagnosed with three separate rare conditions. One occurs one in almost a billion. One occurs one is one hundred thousand. One occurs in four out of one hundred thousand. None of the three are related.

I am known as very precise and people tell me I was born to be a prosecutor because I can spot a lie a mile away.

I was raised by the best single dad on Earth.

One side of my family is all LEOs and the other side is all Firemen. Yeah, the jokes never end.

I am loyal, impatient, quick-witted, and have a morbid sense of humor.

Nothing drives me battier than people on speaker phone.

Sometimes when women at work talk to me, it literally begins to HURT. Do I have Asperger's? I mean the type of women who you don't really know, but they talk to you like you've been best friends for twenty years. They tell you about what they're going to make for dinner, how much laundry they have to do, when they plan to stop and fill the gas tank.
Me thinks: Really? Who the hell are you anyway lady?

Being married to a veteran LEO I generally don't trust the motives of anybody.

I go shopping when we run out of soap. Other than that, not a big fan of the stores.. except The Container Store. I am fascinated by all the stuff there. However, my house does not look like I have ever shopped at The Container Store.

I still own and wear a few articles of clothing from ninth grade (pants and shoes). Yes, as a matter of fact, I would be an excellent candidate for one of those "learn how to dress" shows.

I love cooking. Just when I was getting pretty darn good at it, the hubs was diagnosed with Celiac disease. Do you know what that does to the Pasta (and Breakfast Cereal) Queen of the Universe?

I have a cat who was raised by a dog. The cat now thinks she is a dog. She plays fetch and sleeps on her back with her paws up.

Yo hablo Espanol.

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